Lately I have been reading Job 38. It is God answering Job after all the shit that went down, and Job NEVER spoke out against God. He lost everything in one year of his life. Hence the justified use of the word shit.
This story centers me so much when I am frustrated with my season of darkness and limited encounters with the Lord who is my everything. I long for Him and yet I cannot sense him easily. I know this is a season of formation for my FAITH. My senses are truly suspended. No longer can I rely on goosebumps and the light poetry of easy psalms and pop worship songs. Sometimes I feel stuck here, pushing on a boulder that I know I will never be able to move. He must do it.
Once I know that it must be Him, it is a pleasant surrender of my own strength and my ants-in-pants strategies of how to make things go my way. I release it to him in rest and trust, and sometimes this has to happen multiple times a day.