11.26.2010

ruin is a gift

There's a scene in Eat Pray Love when Julia Roberts is in Rome, exploring the Augustenum...


"It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."


This sounds about right to me. Lots of life's pieces are currently in ruin, and not in one of those beautiful ways where I can see the light and the redemption. I don't see it, but I KNOW that it's there; and I know there's even more on the way. How can I expect to know God more deeply without being transformed? 


I want to be fully alive- thriving in joy and abundance. There have been many moments of this, even long seasons of thriving and visible purpose. I knew the fullness of God in my capacity at the time of those moments... and now there's more- more life, more fullness because the Lord loves to love us and loves us to know more of his love that awaits us. 


Today I embrace ruin, because I know this is creating me new again [again]. This life is rusty and rundown today, yet I know there is more waiting for me through this season of ruin and fire. It's not about achievement though. It's not about work or obligation. It's about love and knowing the Father that created me and wants me to be with him more fully, where I belong. It's about being myself, who I was created to be, more fully. I want that! so Praise the Lord oh my soul, Let all that's within me praise his Name. 










It's a faithful Hallelujah today.




...

11.22.2010

when i was young i INSISTED on being called Dorothy...

there's no place like home.
there's no place like home.

and i believe it. everything takes me back to this place (which is really who i am with). and it is a good one.

there is a lovely thread that runs in my family: childlikeness. i am rather fond of it. life is really fun- an adventure in fact...[especially when i forget about what other people think]. i see this thread in so many of those close to me. my grandpa would just break out in song, songs that i had never heard (he loved lawrence welk). his belting was always enough to catch me offguard and make me laugh in surprise and wonder. my mother is the same way. i hope i am too.

everyone's life is a masterpiece-

regardless of how messy and imperfect it may seem. my favorite paintings are really collages with everydayness combined to create a beautiful and depicting image. [rauschenberg]

my grandmother passed away on friday. she was lovely and old and lived a full life. i treasure the moments we had together because she was my connection to the past, to the good ole days. i don't know if they were real, but i want them to be. i so long for heritage and tradition- to know where i came from. i think it helps me see myself.




...

appropriately- one of my favorite fashion blogs posted this today: http://www.thecherryblossomgirl.com/
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