There's a scene in Eat Pray Love when Julia Roberts is in Rome, exploring the Augustenum...
"It's one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."
This sounds about right to me. Lots of life's pieces are currently in ruin, and not in one of those beautiful ways where I can see the light and the redemption. I don't see it, but I KNOW that it's there; and I know there's even more on the way. How can I expect to know God more deeply without being transformed?
I want to be fully alive- thriving in joy and abundance. There have been many moments of this, even long seasons of thriving and visible purpose. I knew the fullness of God in my capacity at the time of those moments... and now there's more- more life, more fullness because the Lord loves to love us and loves us to know more of his love that awaits us.
Today I embrace ruin, because I know this is creating me new again [again]. This life is rusty and rundown today, yet I know there is more waiting for me through this season of ruin and fire. It's not about achievement though. It's not about work or obligation. It's about love and knowing the Father that created me and wants me to be with him more fully, where I belong. It's about being myself, who I was created to be, more fully. I want that! so Praise the Lord oh my soul, Let all that's within me praise his Name.
It's a faithful Hallelujah today.