The pain and joy of high expectation

Call it idealism or simply high hopes, there are those of us that may have our head stretched all the way up to the clouds. I listen to and follow the voice that whispers, "Come up here." It's an alluring suggestion.

The upward movement of my mind and its ideas has caused such hope and anticipation for myself and those I share life with. So many circumstances where the possibility is seen and paddled toward through the thick muck from which we make our meaning.  

Aren't we complex enough humans to feel this and dwell in that constant flow and interchange? I believe it in the secret of the morning, the holding dear of sunlight in the afternoon. I feel that light. And in the same day I feel the dark of the evening, even in the same moment.

As I write this letter to myself and you, in the back of the Kroger parking lot, I remind myself that it's okay to be with the wild wind inside of me. Sure, I must stand strong and I long for life to be full and perfect. But I must not be afraid of myself and my inexplicable ability to be in two places at once.

I cherish each joyful dance, each pensive inhale of my cigarette, the dull loneliness of falling asleep alone and the deep pain of losing someone.


Dedicated to my beloved Paige Dora Bailey Goslin

Elefante, bye bye 2013

Things I love lately...

1. Bomb Girls

This is a series, currently on Netflix, about Canadian women working in a munitions factory during World War II. It is empowering to watch the sense of purpose these women gain from working, but also irritating to watch their simultaneous oppression. The women are cool; they light their cigarettes in the electrical sockets outside of the factory before work.

Did I mention the styling is wonderful?

Here's the real deal:

2. Self Watering Bucket Gardens

3. Hello Studio Flats!

Blush Studio Flats from Need Supply

4. Drop Waist Dresses

Vanessa Bruno

5. Anything Yellow and Anything from La Garconne

CHARLES ANASTASE / ANASTASIA DRESS

6. New Iron And Wine Album: Ghost on Ghost

"Joy"

Deep inside the heart of this crazy mess
I'm only calm when I get lost within your wilderness
Born crooked as a creek bed and come to confess
That you've been bringing me
Joy